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Ask Calvin's Dad

Who does Calvin turn to for answers to his most pressing questions?
His dad, of course. But Calvin and Hobbes fans know what kind of
answers Dad will give him! Let's just say that they're not entirely
true. Read on for some enlightening facts from Mr. Britannica
himself, Calvin's dad!

Q. Why does the sun set?
A. It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the
day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down
and sets.
Q. Why does it go from east to west?
A. Solar wind.

Q. Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets?
A. That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire.
Q. Where does the sun go when it sets?
A. The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff.
That's why the rocks there are so red.
Q. Don't the people get burned up?
A. No, the sun goes out as it sets. That's why it's dark at night.
Q. Doesn't the sun crush the whole state as it lands?
A. Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about
the same size.
Q. I thought I read that the sun was really big.
A. You can't believe everything you read, I'm afraid.


Q. How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they
have color film back then?
A. Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's
just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn
color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for
a while, too.
Q. But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black
and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?
A. Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
Q. But... But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't
their paints have been shades of gray back then?
A. Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the
'30s.
Q. So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too?
A. Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

Q. Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't
understand why time goes slower at great speed.
A. It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to
California, you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right? So if
you go at the speed of light, you gain more time, because it doesn't
take as long to get there. Of course, the theory of relativity only
works if you're going west.

Q. Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?
A. If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow
your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would
flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see
anything.


Q. How do bank machines work?
A. Well, let's say you want 25 dollars. You punch in the amount and
behind the machine there's a guy with a printing press who makes the
money and sticks it out this slot.
Q. Sort of like the guy who lives up in our garage and opens the
door?
A. Exactly.

Q. What causes the wind?
A. Trees sneezing.

Q. Why does ice float?
A. Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of
liquids to be nearer to the sun.
Q. Is that true?
A. Look it up and find out.
Q. I should just look up stuff in the first place.

Q. How come you know so much?
A. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.